Monday, March 25, 2013

Pinoy Jokes

Feeling stressed? Read and have a laugh at these pinoy jokes:
source

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MANONG DRIVER: Saan po kayo papunta?
ABNORMAL: Sa dentista, pa-oopera ng mata kasi nabibingi na ako...
MANONG DRIVER: Ano???

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BRUNO: Ano yan mga nksulat?
JUAN: Ah eto listahan ng mga takot sken.
BRUNO: Bakit nakalagay pangalan ko dyan?
JUAN: Bakit lalaban ka ba?
BRUNO: Oo!
JUAN: Eh di tatanggalin ko...

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(Juan tinawagan ang Mental Hospital.)
NURSE: Mental Hospital hello.
JUAN: Ah miss, may pasyente pa po ba sa Room 308?
NURSE: Wala na po kasi naka takas. Bakit po sir?
JUAN: Ah... Wala sinisigurado ko lang kung nakalabas na ba talaga ako dyan.

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Meanwhile In A Mental Hospital
(Nagdrowing si Doc ng pinto sa blackboard.)

DOC: Kung sino mauna makaLabas dito sa pinto, makakaLabas na dito sa hospital.
(Nag-unahan ang mga pasyente! My isang di tumakbo, at tumatawa!)
DOC: Mukhang magaling na itong isa ah! Matanong nga.
DOC: Bakit di ka nakipag-unahan?
PASYENTE: Abno mga yan. Pano sila makakalabas dun eh...
.
.
.
.
.
Nasaken ung susi!


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TITSER: Juan late ka na nman, lagi na lang! Feeling mo bright ka! Ok tingnan natin, who's our National
Hero?
JUAN: Jose Rizal mam!
TITSER: Nakatsamba ah!
JUAN: Ikaw mam, kilala mo si SONYA?
TITSER: Hindi, sino sya?
JUAN: Yan kasi puro ka aral, kabet yon nang asawa mo!

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DAD: Bakit ngayon ka lang? Gabing-gabi na!
SON: Not now dad. I’m so tired. Ang daming projects dapat ipasa, activities na kailangan ipasa, research
for my thesis, interview with my prof. Tapos bukas may meeting pa with the dean. Im so stressed out!
DAD: (Sabay batok sa anak) Stressed out?! Hoy! Kinder ka lang! KINDER!

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INTERVIEWER: Do you speak english?
APPLICANT: Yes
INTERVIEWER: Name?
APPLICANT: Abdul al-Rhasib
INTERVIEWER: Sex?
APPLICANT: Three to five times a week.
INTERVIEWER: No, no... I mean male or female?
APPLICANT: Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
INTERVIEWER: Holy cow!
APPLICANT: Yes, cow, sheep animals in general.
INTERVIEWER: But isn't it hostile?
APPLICANT: Horse style, doggy style, any style!
INTERVIEWER: Oh dear!
APPLICANT: No, no! Dear runs too fast....

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